What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
10.06.2025 02:55
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Why does my private parts itch so much during certain periods?
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Are Indian youths conservative or liberal?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
TEXT:
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Has Pope Francis signed a document that gay men can now become priests?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.